lots of changes lately. I think i'm going to use this blog to include my baking adventures and also my biking adventures and my everyday adventures. lately i've been feeling a bit lost in what i'm doing in my life. i did some school for a while, got an associates degree. dont really feel like going back right now. when i got my job at whole foods it was really a huge relief. i had been working at Borders, not getting nearly enough hours, and barely getting by. now that i'm full time there i've been so busy feeling i haven't been paying as much attention to the rest of my life. things have started to coast, relationships wane. when i realized how much this had happened i sort of panicked--i didn't know where i was going and what to do. i didn't know if i wanted anything i had, i didn't appreciate any of it. i'm trying to wake up but i just dont know the best way. i felt like i needed a break from some things, or everything. do i need something new or just to realize the fucking awesome things i have right now?

on my bike ride home yesterday i passed an ice cream truck and the driver literally had a mullet and big ass mustache and sunglasses. jesus fucking christ could you look any more like a pedophile? sometimes i'm scared to bring a person into this world.

its such a complicated thing. there's beauty everywhere but just behind you is wreckage. what if i fuck up? what if i'm fucking up now? shit is scary. i just need some confidence right now.